Oh, SNAP!

Well, what DOES Suzette Say? Oh, Snap!!

Ok, so I admit, I’ve pretty much been MIA (missing in action) for two months. Basically, I dropped out of social media and my normal life, but I’m back and I’m trying to rustle up something to say. After all, this blog is about whatever I say, right? 

It kinda adds maybe a little bit of pressure, (you know, to say something profound); but the truth is, I’m just here- showing up. Trying to get back on my feet and make progress toward my goals again. It’s been a radical season of setbacks, starting back in Feb, honestly, but the biggest one was my brother getting diagnosed with Leukemia. And then 5 weeks later, he died. At 55. Just like that. Augh. 

So, you can say I have a good reason to not be present, visible or even want to share my thoughts and feelings on a blog. Sure, I started writing one about this journey—the storyteller in me came out for a few minutes, but it was so very sad. Too sad of a story to even want to share it. I didn’t even finish it. I got too sad and went to bed. I’m saving that one for another day.

They say that grief is like the ocean, always changing. Sometimes the tide is in, and then it’s out. Sometimes it’s calm and other times, the riptide takes you down. It’s all true.

But today was better. It’s been 13 days since he passed. We will be scattering his ashes on his property in Oregon this coming weekend and it will be good closure for me, mom and his 3 adult kids. And yes, it’s still a sad story, but I know there is a silver lining. I can see it peeking out already, reconnecting the family, valuing the time we have together. Making more of an effort to connect across the miles. Oh, and finally getting around to finishing up OUR wills and advance directives.  And some of us figuring out how to be more independent because now we don’t have him to do all the cool building projects he did. Dang, we are gonna miss him.

And then there’s the #1 thing that we all cherish the most and are collecting and sharing: The PHOTOS. Oh wow. How precious they are. How much they bring back memories long faded. How glad I am that I took the ones I did, sometimes with his reluctance and eye-rolling. And the few precious videos are like gold! He was so cute! Ok, he was moody, and a hard worker and sometimes withdrawn, too, but when he was the ‘real Steve’, he was funny and cute and always a playful little boy at heart. The Christmas videos and the occasional silliness just warms my heart. (Even if he always made stupid faces to drive me crazy!)

No, there’s no videos of the serious or the somber moments. That’s ok. It’s a bit like our brains are wired—to only remember the good stuff after a while. And the photos we save are only the good ones, too. The only ones we printed are the best ones. The images that are engraved indelibly on our minds are the ones we have seen over and over and enjoyed over the years. The ones we printed and put in albums. All the rest that were on the hard drive were ok, reminding us of moments that we don’t even remember. But the printed images are the substance of so many memories!

I just thank God I am a photographer, I can still get my family to let me take pictures of them, and I have a good back up system so I have access to all of the images and can lay my hands on them quickly. Sure, this is a sad story, but it’s a beautiful thing to realize how valuable and even PRICELESS our work is (or our hobby or passion). I’m thanking God today for my craft, my passion, my brother’s life and my good health….I guess those are on the top of the stack. The huge stack of all the things for which to be thankful.  

Suzette Says: Smile!

It’s a priceless gift to capture a memory

Photograph your family members, even if they grumble!